My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize