no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
