on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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