I wish i was in the wii world.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Randomize
