i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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