i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
