the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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