Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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