Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
