I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
honey bunches of taint.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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