Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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