3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize