In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
