I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I just blew my weed a kiss
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
