Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
