I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
