I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
