it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
