i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
