Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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