is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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