so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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