It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
