found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
