nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
