bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
