just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize