please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
we made out on top of his cat.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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