I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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