Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Randomize
