my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
