Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize