That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I enjoy the company of your penis
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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