dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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