You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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