we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
