Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
