You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
