Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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