he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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