just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Randomize
