Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
