oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
