How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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