i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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