i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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