i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
