Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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