doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
