Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
