My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
