the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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