Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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