I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
My ATM looks so different sober.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
