shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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