Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
