my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
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