Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
