how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Semen is not good for contacts.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
