You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize