he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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