Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
