dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize