is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
