Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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